An Ode to Selfishness

I’m through.
I’ve had it.
I’ve had enough of taking one fourth of what I deserve.
This life.
This perpetually unhappy life.
I’m fucking through with it.

This time, I’m going to be selfish.
This time I spread my time and pay attention to things that make me happy.

Call it privilege.
Call it being a brat.
Call it being selfish.

But for once in my sorry, misbeggoten life, I deserve to be selfish.

I know.
I was born in to this.
I’m supposed to have noblesse oblige.

But sometimes you have to take care of yourself.

This is an ode to selfishness.
I’ve been a fricking ball of sunshine to everyone.
And it’s exhausting.

I deserve to be just a mountain breeze.
I deserve to be the roar of the surf  in a storm.
I deserve to be an unchecked fire.

I’m through living my life at 25 percent.
I want to see life when I take it whole, unfiltered, and with only me to be the judge of what I deserve to have.

I deserve to be selfish.

7 Comments

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  1. Well said I agreed with your words

    Like

  2. What you are into now is Self Care.

    Recall what airlines say to passengers: put your mask on first before attending to others. This is exactly what you are doing now.

    I am so glad you’ve arrived at this point! Welcome to a world full of promise! Come visit NorCal when travel restrictions are lifted. Or go where the winds blow you.

    Sez The Desiderata:
    You are a child of the Universe. No less than the trees and the stars, you have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, the Universe is unfolding as it should.

    Like

  3. On a different angle, being selfish also means finally taking the time to love and take care of yourself πŸ™‚
    *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

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