Today, I did not go to work and just wandered around Makati. I did not know why I wanted to walk or where I wanted to go, but I knew I just had to walk away. Painful things have a habit of making me want to move. It’s as if the physical action of walking puts me on a path away from whatever is hurting me.
I have been recently struggling from a bout of depression. It happens a lot to manic-depressives like me especially when we encounter triggers – things that makes us feel too much. I’ve had a change in my work situation that has basically thrown me into a loop. It’s not so much the stress, stress I can handle actually. It’s the feeling that you are not wanted anymore, that you are not part of something that you helped grow, especially since you poured your heart and soul into the things you did. There’s also the fact that I’ve been sharing things that come from my heart and soul.
And no matter how much people tell you to man up and stop thinking about your emotions and start thinking with your head, it still sucks balls. It’s that feeling deep inside your chest as if your being crushed or that feeling that you are empty.
Being forgotten is one of the worst feelings there is.
Ang Huling Hugotero