The Mysteries of the Universe

Random thought No. 1
Don’t you find disconcerting when your phone vibrates as it runs out of power? It’s as if when your phone finally gives out, it makes one final shudder before it dies. That one last vibration is its last gasp against a cruel world that forgot to charge it. When it vibrates one final time, you just heard its death rattle.

Random Thought No. 2
Why are unicorns considered weak and delicate creatures? If I saw a five hundred pound creature with a freaking horn on its head charging me full speed, I would not think awwww shucks that’s cute, I would be screaming at the top my lungs and trying not to be impaled. Unicorns are dangerous creatures, people. Do not be fooled. They also fart rainbows and that is some next level shizz.

Random Thought No. 3
Is this it? Is this what life is all about? Waking up every morning, shaving the stubble off your face, wearing a fancy suit and a fake smile. Then shaking hands with people that quite frankly scare you and then getting paid for it, even though you do not even understand the value of what you do. Then you go home and try not to think about it as you fall to sleep telling yourself that tomorrow would be better.

I should be out there writing the next great novel or raising honey badgers for a living. I should have been an astronaut or curing cancer. I should be plumbing the depths of the universe and not here listening to a sales report telling us we made a billion pesos this year.

Random Thought No. 4
Why doesn’t she love me?

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